Love for our Children

Years ago, a friend and I spoke about the love we had for our children.  The conversation ran the gamut from sacrifices made to hopes, ambitions and dreams.  He then said something to me that was startling and no amount of caution could persuade him to think otherwise.  He said "You know Ron, I want to do every thing I can to make sure my child has everything she wants." My mouth was open for a moment and then I said "Everything?"  He replied "Everything, she deserves the best because she's my little girl!"

For many of us this friends assessment of how to love a child is just that: give them everything they want.  However, love as I understand it, seeks the highest good for the beloved.  I think giving a child everything they want is not only wrong but it makes for a spoiled child.  How does one learn to appreciate things when you get everything you want?  How does one stand in relationship with the poorest of humanity when one never knows need, longing, or not having?  As Mother Teresa said, "The biggest disease today is not leprosy or tuberculosis, but rather the feeling of being unwanted, uncared for, and deserted by everybody." How does a child learn to stand on it's own when it has spent its entire childhood growing up believing that anything it wants can be theirs?

The Houston Police Department put this Twelve Rules for Spoiling a Child out some time ago.  I find that much of it is still relevant especially in rearing a child.  Here are the points:

1. Begin at infancy to give the child everything he (or she) wants. In this way he will grow up to believe that the world owes him a living.
2. When he picks up bad words laugh at him.  This will make him think he's cute.
3. Never give him any spiritual training. Wait until he is twenty-one and then let him decide for himself.
4. Avoid the use of the word "wrong."  It may develop a guilt complex. This will condition him to believe later, when arrested for stealing a car, that society is against him and that he's being persecuted.
5. Pick up everything he leaves lying around, books, shoes, clothes. Do everything for him so that he will be experienced in throwing all responsibility on other people.
6. Let him read any printed material he can get his hands on. Be careful that the silverwear and drinking glasses are sterilized, but let his mind feed on garbage.
7. Quarrel frequently in the presence of your children.  In this way they will not be too shocked when the home is broken up later.
8. Give a child all the spending money he wants.  Never let him earn his own.  Why should he have things as tough as you had them?
9. Satisfy every craving for food, drink and comfort. See that every sensual desire is gratified.  Denial may lead to harmful frustration.
10. Take his part against neighbors, teachers, policeman.  They are prejudicial against your child.
11. When he gets into real trouble apologize for him yourself by saying "I never could do anything with him."
12. Prepare for a life of grief. You will be likely to have it.

Yours for the reign of God,

Ron